Harbinger of Misery: Baseball is a Cruel, Cruel Bint

Expansion season, you ask?  Why no, my dear, that is most certainly not the case.
A mentally incapacitated manager, thereby rendering Mittens Tuberculosis -- his most favorite-ist cat-- writing the opening day lineup, you inquire?  Nope.  Sorry, squirt, you're rather mistaken.

Then how, you wail to the heavens above, could anyone trot out what could only be considered a stream of consciousness lineup for a professional game?

No idea.  But here's the poop-pudding in your lunchbox:

E Young30100000.94.060
J Peterson21100001.01.019
N Markakis20101001.17.061
F Freeman20100000.90.015
C Bethancourt20000001.25-.049
K Johnson20000001.14-.060
A Callaspo20000000.88-.043
A Simmons20000000.61-.030
J Teheran20000000.70-.035


*Lineup courtesy of FANGRAPHS

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