21.10.15

Triumphant Arm Raising Lays In Wait










Do refer to the pleasing use of a 'whammy bar" in the first four bars!

Do refer to Joe Piscopo not referring to Eddie Murphy for the first time ever whilst on camera!

Do refer to Kevin Mitchell not murdering anyone!

Do refer to the splendid perm atop Gary Carter's genetically fine noggin!

Do refer to the 1986 Topps baseball card set handled in a most haphazard way!

Do refer to the rhyme scheme of "Let's" and "Mets" and of course "Go" and "Go!"

Do refer to the presence of  both God and a buccaneering Chang-Sing warrior from "Big Trouble In Little China" at 3:21!

Do refer to the passable batting stance and swing of the irrepressible Gene Shalit at 3:31!

Do refer to the entirety of "Let's Go Mets!" in all its splendor and glory!



In summation:

LET'S GO METS


Carry on.




10.4.15

Abnegation

He stood shivering on the corner in a drenched trench coat staring at his brogues. 

She was garbed in heliotrope avoiding the puddles.

Making her way to him, she paused to think about last year's wine and cheese tasting. 

He remembered that he loved her. 

The rain began again.

She hurried to the corner all the while forgetting her wine; and cheese.

He looked up to see her approaching; he pretended not to see her.

She stopped at the corner.

"Your trench coat is soaked," she says. "And you're shivering."

"Yes, I know.  I've been in the rain."

"Perhaps you should get out of the rain."

"No."

"May I ask why?"

"Because you wouldn't be there."

6.4.15

Harbinger of Misery: Baseball is a Cruel, Cruel Bint

Expansion season, you ask?  Why no, my dear, that is most certainly not the case.
A mentally incapacitated manager, thereby rendering Mittens Tuberculosis -- his most favorite-ist cat-- writing the opening day lineup, you inquire?  Nope.  Sorry, squirt, you're rather mistaken.

Then how, you wail to the heavens above, could anyone trot out what could only be considered a stream of consciousness lineup for a professional game?

No idea.  But here's the poop-pudding in your lunchbox:




BatterABRHHRRBIBBSOpLIWPA
E Young30100000.94.060
J Peterson21100001.01.019
N Markakis20101001.17.061
F Freeman20100000.90.015
C Bethancourt20000001.25-.049
K Johnson20000001.14-.060
A Callaspo20000000.88-.043
A Simmons20000000.61-.030
J Teheran20000000.70-.035
Total191401000.96-.062










GRODY.


*Lineup courtesy of FANGRAPHS













7.3.15

18.2.15

Of Whom the "Bhagavad-Gita" Was Referring, Probably

In the Hindu text "Bhagavad-Gita," Vishnu was imploring the Prince to toil if only for the fact that toiling was the Prince's duty. As such, the Prince scoffed and Vishnu was forced to manifest itself into its multi-armed form saying, "Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."

While one should never think to disagree with religious text -- regardless of the mutual absence of empirical proof -- one could allow themselves to assume that Vishnu's form was not so much intimidating for his multiple appendages, but for his striking resemblance to...