A Rational Response to Liking Someone

Their mere presence floods your body with just enough endorphins to produce hope.

Romance for the Mathematical Enthusiast

How do I love thee? 
Let me count the ways-

1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, ...


An Epigram Concerning Danny

Danny drinks heavily his Jagermeister, with whom he shares with none,
due to his insistence
on creating the largest liver in the northern hemisphere-

He smokes heavily his Marlboro's, I think, due to his insistence
on contracting the black lung like so many West Virginia coalminers-

His gait is fairly effeminate, which is why, one would presume, that he imbibes and inhales heavily his Jagermeister and Marlboro's-
In order to obfuscate the taste of cock. 


Boca Raton's Arthur Levine and His Famous Sexy Lines

"Nice catheter!"

"They can cure syphilis now."

"I got a pocket-full of blue pills and my homeboys do too."

"Mind if I fill that barren wasteland you call a vagina with something other than dust?"

"I'm pretty sure Medicare covers broken hips."

"You're gonna need that oxygen tank after I get through with you."

"I might fall, but I can definitely get up... if you know what I mean."

"Let's go make a talkie."

"Mammy, I'm your Sammy."

"Are those liver spots?  Because I actually think they're notches of your myriad of conquests over the past 134 years.

"My grandkids call it a 'snowball'."

"You know, in this light, with your head just fractionally tilted in that specific manner, you remind me of a barely dead Dinah Shore."


This Day in William Devane History

On this day in 1974, William Devane ordered an unsweetened iced tea with lemon-wedge and a tuna melt on whole wheat toast.

Those whom were present claim that he was not displeased with the sumptuous repast laid before him.

This has been another edition of This Day in William Devane History.

Carry on.


Bathroom Cleaning Haiku

Missing Judge Judy.
Rubber gloves and toilet brush-
Fear the ass doctor!