An Epigram Concerning Charlie

In a rotunda of social obligation, Charlie- he of distilled thought and drunken warbling- commenced to crossing the room in a most haphazard way.  "A corner I must find," he bellowed. "A corner to which I may relieve my weariness!"


A Gentleman's Excursion

I was enjoying my journey 'cross the land of Thai-
But drink deviated me from my well formed plan.
At least I found a mate with whom I could lie-
But I probably should have asked if she was a man.


An Excerpt From Hilaire Belloc's "The Four Men," Contemporized for Persons Suffering with Mysophobia

"May all good handshakes that here agree
Sanitize thy hands to be germ free,
And may all my bacterium go to hell!
Purell!  Purell!  Purell!  Purell!
May all my bacterium go to hell!
Purell!  Purell!"