Trixie Carmichael Has Fallen in Love

She courts her reflection with eye-hardened resolve.
"Truth is beauty; therefore I am true," She may think to herself.
All the while the dirty dishes pile up and the laundry goes unfolded.

She kisses from a distance that only a sextant knows.
"Such pleasure I must bring unto you," She may think to herself.
All the while the fifty car pile up and beaten housewife go unseen.

She bats eyes in the direction of no one in particular.
"A shame you were not here to witness that," She may think to herself.
All the while the hissing cacophony of existences pile up and a cello goes unheard.

She ignores the smoke- the soot- the shit:  with ambivalent watering mouth.
"Imagine what it must feel like to see me amongst all this," She may think to herself.
All the while the sins of the dead pile up and the flooded city goes unpumped.

She does snow angels in the ashes of the long forgotten.
"I am a Metatron of the world around me," She may think to herself.
All the while vulture-picked eyes pile up and a flower goes unbloomed.

And Trixie Carmichael crouches down
to pick a daisy.
And Trixie Carmichael sticks it
behind her ear.
And Trixie Carmichael looks at 
The smoke-
The soot-
The shit-
And wryly smiles.

For Trixie Carmichael Has
Fallen in Love.


Rejected Children's Television Show Titles

You Can't Do That On Television Unless You're In Germany

Loofasam Dodecahedronculottes

Where In The Greater Metropolitan Des Moines Area Is Chastity Bono?

Everybody Poops:  The Animated Series

Pinky And The Duodenum

Coast Guard Tom:  Real High Seas Coward

Uncle Jack Kevorkian's Playhouse

Snuffleupagus' MAOI Inhibitor Fun Hour!

Smile Time With Satan!

Elderly Disfigured Al-Quaeda Emus


Not a 1970's Porn Loop Starring Darren McGavin

Kolcluck:  The Chicken Choker


A Gentleman's Excuse

I considered going to your lecture on Erasmus.
But one drink turned into quite a lot.
Please don't take personally my absence.
It's just you're a rather boring twat.


A Gentleman's Error

I'm sorry I broke your priceless china.
I was a wee bit drunk last night.
And you say that wasn't your vagina?
I thought it felt a little too tight.



Thinking of You

Grocery list:


Hand Lotion

Cliche. Response.

Cliche:  "The world is your oyster."

Response:  Must be why I'm so horny all the time.

Cliche:  "Christmas is a season for giving."

Response:  I'm Jewish.

Cliche:  "As useful as tits on a bull."

Response:  I do enjoy the company of a more voluptuous lady every now and again.

Cliche:   "Don't get you knickers in a twist."

Response:  I'm pretty sure they prefer "African American" these days, buddy.

Cliche:  "April showers bring May flowers."

Response:  Fuckin' dumbfuck bees.

Cliche:  "You are what you eat."

Response:  My friends call me Manischewitz Paint Chips Kitten.


The Foreclosure of Taylor Bean's Smile

I am a blurred picture on a carton of spoiled milk resting upon a ziggurat of decaying rubbish.

My guffaw: neither true nor charming-
It is an overcast Cleveland.

From many evenings last to many evenings future,
I am there; forever will be. 

I am a thermos without a lunchbox.

Put your arm around me-
let us steal this moment.
I will cherish it and many more; They are my skyward idols. 

My heap is rummaged through by a starving and bed-less one. 
His last breath stinks of ethanol. And inconsequence.

My alley:  my home:  my raison d'etre-
We are all here; or maybe just you and I.

All that there is is all that there is. 
I ask for nothing more than more of all that there is.

I am in a technicolor prison atop  discarded 8 tracks.

I am a smile for the camera.
There is no camera.

Away to the far-
I will travel light-
The Great Wall is a bunch of Legos.

I am a speck in the distance- a molecule orbiting nothing in the vastness of space,
But I am where I want to be-

Under a false umbrella-
pelted by the acid
and the rain.

I gaze around with eyes that sting;
A-look for anyone-
Anyone like me.

There are so many false umbrellas:  So many like me.

We are all blurred pictures on cartons of spoiled milk.


Epiphany of the Day

Chili with no beans has identical undesired effect as chili with beans.